


Agent D

by Emilywemily



Category: Homestuck, Men in Black (Movies)
Genre: Comedy, Light Angst, M/M, Movie: Men in Black II (2002), Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:08:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26447563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emilywemily/pseuds/Emilywemily
Summary: The earth had always been held together with mechanisms and maintained by alternian trolls in exchange for them living there after their home planet was destroyed in a solar storm. However, when the reactor core keeping earth together is stolen to be sold for money, trolls are given no choice but to go on an illegal bounty hunt to get it back and save their new home. But A group of trolls who have called themselves “sburb” however, are trying to retrieve it peacefully. Karkat is captured by M.I.B for interrogating the thief in a threatening manner (even though he did nothing) And the thief got away. With sburb being the only successful group other than M.I.B in tracking the thief And their big group of intimidating bloodthirsty bandits, the two Groups are forced to team up and save the world.
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas
Comments: 1
Kudos: 4





	1. Karkat Vantas and Vriska Serket; leaders of sburb

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own M.I.B or homestuck, I only own this story

Karkat breathed heavily. He was inside, One of the thieves that is. Five minutes. That's all he had. "You ready?" Vriska, the sburb co-leader, asked with uncharacteristic concern. Karkat, the other leader, nodded his head. Vriska smirked. "You know if you need this up you're grub food right~?" They teased. Karkat rolled his eyes. "Sure Vriska. Like you could do any better." He glared, but it was somewhat jokingly as the two weren't nearly as hostile as they had been to each other before this whole core thing had happened. Maybe this was somewhat a positive thing as the two eighteen year olds weren't constantly at each other's throats like they used to be. Vriska smirked as she handed karkat the bracelet that would disguise him as a human.

However, there was still a few minutes. Karkat smirked as his favorite person came up in his contacts. He was nervous, but knew it was the right time to say this. Taking a deep breath, he began trolling Dave...

_CarcinoGenetisis started trolling TurntechGodhead._

  
CG: HEY GRUBFUCKER. GUESS WHAT.

TG: someone’s in a mood... what?

CG: SHUT UP. I NEED TO ASK YOU SOMETHING. 

CG: DID YOU, UHHH, WANT TO HEAD OUT LATER? 

TG: why? Im busy.

CG: DOING WHAT?

TG: beating Jade’s ass in COD... But it’ll only take a bit bro.

TG: but we hang out like all the time dude... Whats the rush

CG: ON A DATE DUMBASS. IM ASKING YOU OUT. LIKE A BOYFRIEND THING. 

TG:...

CG:???

TG: umm. Where did this come from? I’m not gay dude

CG: NEITHER AM I.

TG: ?

CG: I LIKE ALL. LIKE HOW CAN YOU NOT WANT BOTH. EVERYONE IS SO HOT LIKE ALL THE TIME MAN

CG: ESPECIALLY YOU.

CG: SHIT THAT WAS WEIRD

TG: oh

TG: cool.

CG: YEAH.

CG: SO, WHATS YOUR ANSWER?

TG: I kinda like both too. Tbh I was waiting for you to say something.

CG: OH. NICE OK. WELL, HOW ABOUT TONIGHT?

TG: I'm busy rn. Tomorrow tho, Pizza and a romcom? You always love that cheesy shit.

CG: ITS NOT CHEESY YOU UNCULTURED SELFIMPORTANT FUCK.

CG: OK THAT WAS A BIT MUCH IM SORRY.

CG: ILL SEE YOU AT EIGHT...BABE?

TG: that’s...actually kind of adorable. See you at eight babe ;)

CG: OH GOD, THE WINKING. 

TG: ;) 

CG: NOOO

_CarcinoGenetisis stopped trolling TurntechGodhead._

He smiled as he turned off his phone. "Alright, it's time. Don't fuck up ok?" Vriska warned. She was still kind of scary to be perfectly honest, but at the same time, karkat had finally gotten to a point where he could tell whether or not she was being serious. And now wasnt one of those times. They still had three months. Three months to save the world. God he could only hope that the bulge-licking M.I.B wouldn't get involved. They're so annoying. Karkat stepped out of the car and headed inside the nightclub.

M.I.B had also locked onto the thief's location. They also knew sburb where there. They figured if they can capture and kill Smith, the thife, and convince Karkat Vantas Or Vriska Serket, sburb's co-leaders, to work with them. shutting down both the troll bounty hunters and the thieves. Seeing a short man enter the nightclub with a long coat and thick black bushy hair, they recognised it as Vantas' human perception filter.

Sburb and trolls were very reasonable people despite their stereotypical mean or aggressive nature, but karkat tended to be over agressive to compensate for how poorly he handled unfriendly confrontation. He was only eighteen, just turned, and had a bad history with M.I.B as all members of Sburb tended to. Apart from Gamzee, sollux and nepeta. 

"Alright,let's do this." Jay mentioned stepping out of the car with his partner. Stepping quickly after the Alternian. Karkat glanced over his shoulder and rolled his eyes. The defining noise that was trying to pass as music made Jay's ears hurt. The strobe lights flashed, rapidly changing from blue to green to pink to red. The first agent straightened his tie, clearing his throat to say "Mr. Vantas, what are you doing this time kid?" Kay asked with a smirk. he made a chattering noise in annoyance. "Fuck sake, I'm busy you bulge-lickers!" He growled. "Now we know, we know. But we have a few questions first" Kay continued. "I don't have time for- there!" He exclaimed suddenly pointing to a pale, overweight sweaty looking teen. shit.That did look like his cover.

Jay slid his hand across his face. Reluctantly he spoke up. "...alright you got five minutes. But that is it!" The teen glared in annoyance. "Thanks assholes! Real generous!" He didn't mean to yell, but the damn synth and bass was too loud, it flooded all three men's brains with it's overly repetitive chorus like a worm burrowing into their heads, but Karkat, being Alternian, was especially sensitive to it and resisted covering his pointed ears. He shoved past the two agents and hurried over to the thief. 

"Hey buddy! Long time no see!" The Troll greeted Passive-aggressively, patting the awkward teen on the shoulder a little too hard. "What the fuck dude, get off of me-" but Smith's angry protest was stopped mid sentence upon seeing the scythe Karkat lifted his coat up to display. Swallowing almost cartoonishly loud, smith's face contorted into an uncomfortable and almost painful grimace. Karkat pulled smith off to the side, and while no one was focused on them, pulled out one of the two scythes he was carrying. 

Holding it up to the sweaty nineteen year olds neck, he gave his best death glare, trying almost to convince himself he wasn't going to mess this up. "Where are they." Karkat demanded. When no answer came, he brought the scythe up so it was now touching his neck, pulling the skin slightly, though not enough to rip. " They'll- they'll kill me if I tell you!" He begged. Karkat shook his head too bad. Well all fucking die if the core stays missing! M.I.B already know, so hurry before they deal with you, you greasy fuck." He growled. Silence was the reply. 

"You know, I'd listen the the pipsqueak if I were you, his bite is worse than his bark if ya know what I'm saying" came a voice from behind smith. Agent Jay. They'd only met once, and even though M.I.B didn't really see eye to eye with some alternian's, it was nice to know they'd still have their backs if they knew the trolls were in the right. Karkat smirked, ignoring the remark. "You- you brought _**them**_ **?!** " the cornered alien spluttered out in shock. Jay was holding a stun gun to his head as kay began to approach with a serious look. "We've only got three months smith. We aren't here to hurt you and can protect you from _them_ too." 

A flash of realisation seemed to wash over him upon receiving the new information. "So what's it gonna be, shit stain?" Karkat taunted, slowly lowering his scythe with a confident smirk. Looking at the three men in turn, while remaining creepily still to almost the point of a statue (if said statue was vibrating in fear to somehow) he took a deep breath. He wasn't lying when he said they'd kill him. "I...I'm the least of your worries. There's...look take me if you want" he stopped as his voice cracked from nervousness. "But I'll only tell you and information at all if you can promise I'll be fine. And that means well accommodated for too! Like...hotel stuff?"

Karkat and jay both stared in disbelief, and in unison almost yelled "are you fucking serious?!" Both men with open moths and one raised eyebrow each. Kay almost chuckled. "Sure thing you selfish prick. Jay, handcuffs." He ordered his partner. Jay nodded in compliance. But still had that disbelieving look. How could anyone be that narssisictic and cowardly they'd put themself before the good of other's in a mass extinction denarii where even just saying something could save lives? And then he remembered. He was talking to a nineteen yearold, unnatractive incel. Made sense. 

Upon getting smith and Karkat in the car, the two agents had mindwiped the club for good measure. They also gave karkat a chance to text vriska so she was up to date on what was happening. The drive seemed longer than it actually was, mainly because of Kay's, in karkat's words, 'terrible ear torture and audible assault you call music". Which caused an argument Jay was left to sort out before Kay threw a punch at the kid for asking for his honest opinion on his music. Upon arrival at HQ, karkat felt something he didn't usually feel just by seeing a building...

Excitement.

He'd never admit it, but God damnit was M.I.B HQ a cool place to work. The elevator descended with the now captive smith, guest Karkat, agent Jay, and agent kay. The doors opened with a soft ding to indicate their landing. Stepping out of the elevator, karkat looked around in awe. It's was so strange and futuristic looking. Shuffling his feet while following kay with jay tailing closely behind him. But he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw a familiar face approach him. Someone he knew very well. the strangest feeling or anxiety, confusion and pride washed over him all at once. It was such a much a shock, the Troll couldn't keep himself from yelling...

" _ **DAVE**_ **!?** "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If this blows up, I've got a great sequel idea too! So please comment if you see stuff u like ☺️


	2. Dave?!

There was silence as Dave stared at him in confusion. "You to know this guy?" Jay questioned. Dave shook his head, then stopped. Raising his eyebrows in surprise he opened mouth to say "karkat? You're...wait you're not human?" Karkat rolled his eyes. "I would of said if I knew you'd worked for these assholes!" He complained. "We don't often see this weird shit every day." Dave, still shocked front the revalidation, took a moment before nodding in agreement.

It was a short walk to the holding cell, which they had updated for smith's "needs" (more like needy requests), then off to an interrogation/question room for karkat. Sitting down in the surprisingly comfy chair, karkat kicked his legs impatiently. "Relax kid, this'll only take a minute" kay began, raising his hand to tell him to be quiet."It's about sburb. We..." Kay trailed off, staring at jay as to indicate he say something. "Me? Oh right! We need your help man. Well, you and your little friends." He gave an akward smile. Karkat rolled his eyes. "Haha, trolls are short. I get it, ok?" He sighed. "Wha- no I didn't mean it like that-" "relax jay, he's fucking with you" Dave cut in. "He's got a weird sense of humor." Jay shot karkat a look. "Alright then asshole, you need our help. Because _you_ couldn't protect the core, we have to deal with the shit left over. But uh, you lot actually do your job so...in short, it would probably be best for your own interest to help us." The agent finished. Karkat wasn't buying it. "You mean _you_ need _our_ help?" Jay gave him a look but smiled anyway. "Let's not get into pedantics, the point is we could help each other out and fix this shit alright?"

He was clearly exasperated, but stubborn in his point. Karkat could really relate to the human being like that. "Let me talk to vriska first. You guys don't exactly have the best reputation with trolls..." He trailed off. "Sure thing. Just remember, refusing our help...is that really the best idea?." Kay questioned. Karkat ignored him and pulled out his phone.The call was short, vriska being determined to have full control over the partnership. When the co-leader explained that wasn't possible, angrily she agreed, yelling at karkat before hanging up. "Well fuck you too bitch" he said glaring at the phone. Rubbing his eyes he set down the phone and walked back over to the three agents. Sighing to himself he stared up at Dave and said "we still on for our date later?" Dave blushed a little. "Of course man." "Oh and she said yes. Not that there was ever really much of a choixe" breathing a sigh of relief Kay pat Karkat on the back with a relived smile. "Let's get to work!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is so short. But this is a story I'm putting aside for a bit. But it will still be updated! DW.


End file.
